I Do Declare!

I have spent the better part of the past 2 months thinking about how I wanted to change my life in 2014.  Like thousands, more likely millions of other people, I have made some very definite decisions about the direction I would like my life to take.  Unlike millions of other people I am not calling my decisions New Year's resolutions.  For my purposes declarations seem more appropriate.

Yesterday, the student ministries pastor gave our Sunday sermon.  To my disappointment he began his sermon with statistics on the failure rates of New Year's resolutions.  I immediately thought to myself, "I am doomed before I even begin".   I believe our pastor's sermon was intentionally negative.  Resolutions without support, especially, of our Lord and Savior are likely to fail.  "Hmmm", I thought to myself, this needs more thought and a lot more prayer.

So with careful thought and prayer I have come up with my declarations.  I have decided that in place of New Year's resolutions I will make "public" New Year's declarations through my blog.  By making my declarations for the world to see, or the 5 or so people who read this blog, I am accountable to my God and those people who read about my life.  I will no longer have the luxury of cheating myself out of positive changes.

After a lot of soul searching, I have decided that the items on the following list are the areas that I would most like to change in 2014 and beyond.  If there are those of you who would like to join me on this journey please feel free to let me know.  Here it goes:

1.  I need to completely change the way I eat.  One would never know that I "minored" in nutrition.  I need to set a better example for my girls.  My youngest daughter would greatly benefit from an organic/non-processed food diet.

2.  I need to move my body more.  I have spent the last 7 years dealing with chronic pain.  I would like to do all I can to lessen the strain on my body before I hit the big 50 (in 5 years).

3.  Spend more time in prayer and in the Word.  Enough said!

4.  Be a better wife, mother, friend.

Merry Christmas

                                                                         

                                                                     
I would like to take this opportunity to wish friends and family a very Merry Christmas.  May your hearts and home be filled with love, joy, and peace.   May the love of Jesus Christ be with you, the whole year through.

"Momma, Who Is Obama Care"??!!!

As a Christian I have heard the expression "bible thumper" more times than I can tell you.  To be completely honest, I have never had the opportunity to come close to beating anyone about the head or anywhere else with the bible.  I don't think I have even come close to excessive scripture quoting either.  What I do know is that I, like so many other Christians, have sat back and put up with this stereo-type because it is what Jesus would do.

So, ask me what Christian stereotypes and Obama Care have in common?  Not much really except for the fact that I feel, no I know, that we as a nation are being beaten over the head with a  healthcare plan that is not working.  Not a day goes by when Obama Care is not the lead story on the nightly national news and the first story we see on the morning news programs.  Obama Care is THE major topic on most cable news networks and satellite radio programs.  OBC is everywhere.

I had no idea just how bad things had gotten until this past Friday.  Paige, my 5 year old asked me:  "Mamma, who is Obama care?"  I could not believe what I had just heard.  Paige has ADHD and can not sit long enough to watch TV, yet she knows enough to ask about Obama Care.  My poor baby's ears, what has she heard?  I did my best to explain to her what OB Care is, but how much can a 5 year truly comprehend?  How much can our country comprehend?  OBC is an ever changing beast?

The OBC situation worsened.  As I was driving the next day, listening to FOX News, I heard a clip that truly angered me.  Our president's wife was appealing to US moms on the virtues of Obama care.  Since the Affordable Healthcare Act is not reaching  all of its intended audience, Mrs. Obama suggested that mothers start reaching out to their 20 something children.  Mrs. Obama was tugging at the heart strings of mothers, playing the "what if something happens" card.

If that was not despicable enough next came the "Christmas treat" comment.  Since when is Christmas a time that we should be sitting around our family table discussing Obama Care?  Can you imagine how that conversation would go?  I realize that affordable healthcare is a major concern to most US families.  It is in our home.  We have a $3000.00 per year, deductible to meet, plus a $6,000.00 out of pocket max per year, but the last thing we will discuss is Obama Care.

As we sit down to our Christmas day meal, we will begin by giving thanks for the blessings bestowed on our family by the heavenly Father.  We will give thanks and praise for the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ.  We will pray for friends and family who could not be with us, and those struggling with illness and other needs.  We will pray for a world that wants less God and individuals who wish to silence those of us who speak His name.  

I do not have room in my Christmas day for conversations about our broken healthcare system.  There are children to be hugged, and a giant meal to be cooked.  There are prayers to be said, and naps to be taken.  Christmas is a day of celebration.  We are meant to open our hearts and receive the love of a newborn babe.  There is no room for Obama Care in my home on this glorious day.

Age Doesn't Matter……That Much

In a little over 2 weeks I will be 45 years old.  Every time I think about the fact that I am only 5 years away from 50 it seems utterly impossible.  Some friends, and even family, have commented that I must be crazy to even think about adopting another child, number three.  I completely disagree because I don't feel that "old" and, thankfully I don't think I look it either.

I have been blessed to have been given a fresh start in life.  When I was in my mid 30's my life started a new.  The changes in my life were significant, I became a new person, body and soul.  There were two significant events which changed my life forever: the first was my marriage to my husband Claus, second was giving my life to my savior Jesus Christ.  So, by the grace of God, I was reborn when I was 36.  I really can't be that old.

As I look back over my life, most of my 20's and early 30's were difficult.  I was unhappy, in a very difficult marriage, and I struggled to put on a happy face for the world.  Ten and a half years of a bad relationship took its toll.  I felt old at 30.  I was tired, beat down, and more sad that I ever thought I could be.  Finally, my oldest daughter, gave me the strength I did not have, to leave a life that was slowing killing me.  I will be forever grateful for the insight of a then 4 year old.

Flash forward  to 2013, my life has completely changed.  I am happily re-married, with 2 beautiful girls.  If God is willing, we will welcome another daughter into our home some time in 2014.  I could never have imagined that my life could be so joy filled.  I am happier now than when I was 24 years old.  It is hard to imagine that I can be 20 years older and actually feel younger, happier, more full of life and more full of love.

I feel fortunate that I have never fretted over the milestone birthdays.  Forty wasn't bad so I am guessing that 45 won't be that bad either.  The only time I have ever really worried about about my age is when I was been called "Grandma" by a clueless cashier, while out shopping with my youngest daughter Paige.  I get that she is only by 5 but come on, I don't have that many wrinkles.

What Did You Say?

Last night I started to write another blog.  It was the second in my "Waiting For Grace" Series.  I really enjoy writing fun, light-hearted blogs.  They roll off the tips of my fingers easily, usually I think faster than I can type.  When I sat down tonight, I could not finish that blog.  I am too upset about Phil Robertson, Duck Dynasty, and A&E.

If you have read any of my past blogs you know that I am a Christian.  First, I would like to define the type of Christian I am.  I feel the need to do so because friends, some former, and even family, have misguided views of my family life and family values.  So, here is my introduction into The Larsen's, Southern Baptists, 101.

We are a Christ centered family.  Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior.  Jesus was sent to this earth to atone for our sins so that we might live again, in Heaven.  "….The bible is the true center of Christian union and the standard by which all human conduct , creeds, and opinions,  should be tried".*  With that said, and contrary to what some believe, we and most Christians, do not hate those people who are different from us.

Liberals, and those people who fail to get to know true Christians, are quick judge, or assume the way  Christians live our lives.  Often the bible is used against us as a means to incite fear and hate.  Today, news spread quickly that Phil Robertson was suspended by A&E, from his own show for his views on homosexuality.  Mr. Robertson did not attack any one person nor  did he spread hate speech.  He simply quoted a verse from the bible and gave an opinion of homosexual relationships, rather colorfully.   He did not incite hate towards homosexuals but liberals seem to be missing that point.

Upon seeing the web uproar on Facebook, I felt the need to express my opinion.  I chose to stand up for Phil Robertson.  I expected to get a fair number of "likes" on my post.  Since I have friends from all walks of life I also expected opposing points of view.  What I often find, in times of disagreement, is a one sided "attack".  A “friend” willing to make a one time post on my wall, poo-pooing Christians and our intolerant ways.  As a follow up, I posted my reply.   Instead of an adult exchange of views,  our cyber conversation came to an abrupt end.

I was surprised for a moment because of the person posting the comment.   I am more surprised when down the cyber wall I see an angry rant, dotted with profanity posted by my cyber “friend”.  Why does it come to this?  Why are Christians always labeled as intolerant?  Why are liberals, and those who have a bone to pick with Christians,  so fearful of intelligent conversation?  I have never had an earnest conversation with someone who actually wanted to hear what I had to say.  I have offered, begged, pleaded, asked nicely, and nothing has ever come to fruition.  Am I that scary?

So as we approach the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I ask for peace and tolerance for all people.  I ask for the same standard of acceptance of all faiths, not just the groups that politically correct.  Jesus Christ is the center of the Christian faith.  He embraced all people:  the poor, the sick, criminals, prostitutes, the rich, those people who hated Him, those people who loved Him.  If those people were good enough for Christ, don't you think they are good enough for Christ followers?  If we as Christians follow the bible, don't you, as non-Christians think we live by these words:

"Matthew 40...... And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

*Mid-Way Baptist Church, Raleigh, NC

Is There An IT Man In The House

I am the luckiest woman in the world.  In the husband department, you can say I won the "Mega Millions".  My husband will do absolutely anything for me.  As Dr. Laura, the conservative radio talk show host says, "he would swim through shark infested waters for me".  There is usually only one thing I can never get him to do, it's look at my computer.

There really isn't any reason why Claus can't look at my computer, at least I know of.  You see, my husband Claus is very knowledgeable about computers.  He is a Senior Software Architect for a major pharmaceutical company.  Claus has worked for the same company for almost 20 years, he is very good at what he does.

I have not been able to figure out what his hesitation is with working on our home computers. I don't think my daughter and I have unusually difficult questions.  When he does take a look at our laptops, it almost always takes just a few minutes to fix our problems.  We also don't bother Claus very much with computer problems, just when we are in over our heads.

This evening, before I started to write this blog, I found myself stuck on an issue I could not fix.  I was determined to not to ask my husband to help me with my problem.  I knew he was already working on our daughter's computer.  After about an hour of searching for an answer I was beyond frustrated.  Not only could I not find an answer to my question, I could not find an e-mail address or phone number to technical support.  I was really irritated.

Just when I reached my absolute point of frustration I found my answer, or so I think.  The answer looks perfectly plausible, at least in my mind anyway. Finally,  I did not have to ask my husband the answer to my question.  I felt pretty good being able to handle myself and my computer question like a "big girl".  

Tomorrow will be the true test of wether or not my fix worked.  So for tonight I can go to bed with the satisfaction of knowing I did something on my own.  I also feel good because I did not have to add to my husband's to do list.  Claus had to go through and do 122 updates on my daughter's laptop.  No wonder he want's to turn and run every time we have a computer question.

Advent 101

I don't know why I am surprised by the fact that it's December 1st.  Christmas commercials have been on TV since the middle of October.  It is unfortunate, but I feel society has taken Christ out of Christmas.  When was the last time you saw a Christmas  commercial that actually has something to do with Christ?  Have you ever seen a Christmas commercial that had something to do with Christ?  I didn't think so.

 Since becoming a Christian, Christmas has taken on a far greater meaning to me and  my family.  Christmas is not just a day of presents, tinsel, and trees.  I am not worried about the biggest sale or the best bargain.  Somethings are just more important.  I have made it a point to constantly remind my children that Christmas is the the day we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  It is not just the day we get presents.

Today is  the first day of Advent, a Christian season of preparation and anticipation of Christ’s birth. Advent is celebrated prior to Christmas day, most notably once a week, on Sunday.  Each week, one of four candles  is lit on and Advent wreath.  The lighting of each candles symbolize, expectation, hope, joy, and purity.   

Our family has chosen to celebrate Advent each of the 24 days leading up until Christmas.  There are many ways in which your family can embrace the season of Advent.  One was is reading daily scripture.  Since I homeschool my children, my girls and I start the day off by reading scripture.  Other ways to celebrate Advent are spending time with your family, serving your community, making holiday crafts, baking and sharing cookies, or even singing Christmas carols to seniors in your community.

Christmas is a season of giving.  God gave His only son to an undeserving world.  Advent is a season when we begin to prepare our hearts for the coming of Christ.  There is no better way to get in the Christmas spirit than to give of ourselves.  Instead of showering children with the latest toys, newest, biggest, and best of everything, teach them the true meaning of the season.  Put Christ back in Christmas, let Him live in your heart.

Bleak Friday

I hope that each and every one of you, reading this blog, had a  Happy Thanksgiving.  We had a wonderful day of relaxing, eating, more relaxing, and crafting.  Unlike thousands, maybe millions of other Americans, I did not set foot in one of the many chain stores, open on Thanksgiving.  I could not  imagine leaving my family to save a few dollars.

I must admit that I am extremely disappointed with number of stores, electing to open their doors on Thanksgiving day.  In 15 short years, we have gone from MOST stores being closed on American holidays, to MOST stores being open on almost ALL holidays.  Call me old fashioned but I think it wrong that corporate greed is destroying American tradition.  How long will it be before other employers follow suit?  When will greed forever change the landscape of American tradition?

Our country is undergoing serious change.  This change is effecting the principles our founding father's once fought for.  We, as Americans once lived in a country that celebrated religious freedom.  Christians, crossed the Atlantic to pursue the dream of religious freedom.  Now, modern day Christians,  are marginalized in our own country, for as little as saying "Merry Christmas".  Christ has become the new taboo, we dare not whisper His name for fear of being labeled a right winged…………, you can fill in the blank.

Cities and towns across the US have removed nativity scenes from public areas.  I am not sure what a statue of the baby Jesus or the Virgin Mary may insight but I don't think it would be negative.  For those people who are not Christian, they do not have to look at the display.  My rights as a Christian are being infringed upon when Christ is removed from the Christmas holiday.  

In one small city in Connecticut, a school system went as far as to ban secular images associated with Christmas.  Frosty the Snowman and Santa are too controversial for children,  who knows, they might be a stepping stone to Christ.  When and where did "we" as a nation get so far off course?  I am 44, political correctness is offensive to me.  Is it generation X that is driving these crazy notions?

Today, I did a lot of reflecting on past and present Thanksgivings.  I remembered, fondly, the good old days of family, big meals, and absolute boredom because there was nothing to do on Thanksgiving day.  Yesterday, our family choose to have a “retro” Thanksgiving of family, fun, and food, nothing else.  I am already getting myself ready for Christmas.  I am armed with my "Jesus Is The Reason For The Season" car magnet and my "It's OK to Wish Me Merry Christmas" pin.  

I mentioned earlier that I am old fashioned, I am also willing to stand up for what I believe in.  Where do you stand on the things I've had to say.  Are you willing to say "Merry Christmas" and mutter a meek "happy holidays".  As Christians we must be willing to proclaim the birth of Christ as readily as Christ was to die for our sins.  Jesus is the reason for this season, MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Living Simply or Simply Living

For the first time, in what seems like months, I feel relaxed, truly relaxed.  The past 3 months have been busy with homeschooling, dance, co-ops, "mothers" meetings, and a bout with a serious illness.  Throw in the day to day responsibilities of maintaining a large house, laundry, cooking, doctors appointments, 3 spoiled dogs, and being a referee for 2 beautiful girls, life is crazy.

Like millions of other families, living the American dream, we have more than our fair share of blessings.  We have a large, beautiful home, with an even larger yard.  Our cars shine brightly, including my husband’s green and yellow lawn tractor. We see that our children want for nothing.  Even our dogs are spoiled, each with a comfy bed and sweater to wear in the cold weather. 

As much as I hate to admit it, sometimes I feel overwhelmed.  My dream house is sometimes too big.  There are not enough hours in the day to keep 3 bathrooms clean.  How many times in one day can I pick up the endless trail of toys from my youngest daughter’s bedroom to the downstairs family room floor.  I won’t even get started on the laundry because I am the person who does the clothes shopping.

So with all of this stress talk how can I possibly feel relaxed?  Earlier this year my husband and I bought an unassuming, retirement home. Despite have 2 growing girls and 3 spoiled dogs we bought a SMALL 2 bedroom, 1 bath cottage.  Quaint and cozy describes our new piece of paradise.  This house could not be more different than our oversized, “everyday” home.  I could not be more happy.

The minute I walk through our little cottage’s front door I feel different.  In this small space my cares are few and my time is devoted to my family.  We have a fraction of the “stuff” which we have in our “everyday” life.  Less house equals, less stuff, equals, less stress, equals more happy equals JOY!  We get by with the basics.  

While we are “living” in our cottage I often wonder why we need the things and the space we use 300 days of the year.  I have a sense of contentment.  Could we live like this all the time?  God has truly blessed our family.  We have are happy, healthy, and have more than we could ever want or need.  When life gets crazy I tend to forget the simple things in life, I need to stop and count my blessings. 

Traditions

For the first time in my adult life I am not going to be cooking Thanksgiving dinner.  I haven't quite figured how I feel about not cooking.  Cooking holiday meals has always been my "thing".  I love to cook, but I am also a control freak.  I want things done my way!

This year, we have decided to vacation for the Thanksgiving holiday. My husband thought it would be a nice idea to have Thanksgiving dinner catered.  My husband ROCKS!  As a stay at home wife, and homeschooling mom, cooking for 3 days is really not a vacation.  I broke 20 years of tradition and placed my dinner order today.

Not long after I placed our catering order my eldest daughter came into my bedroom.  As is the case with most kids, she is nosey and asked:  "Who were you talking to?"  I cheerily told her that we trying something new for Thanksgiving, I was not going to be cooking.  For a minute there was silence and then with a slightly shrill voice she said:  "You're not making cheesy potatoes?!!"

So it looks like I am going to be doing some cooking after all.  Apparently my children have started to appreciate my holiday side dishes.  My cheesey potatoes should really be called Made of Gold Potatoes because they are made with 4 kinds of imported cheese.  A  medium size serving dish normally costs about $16.00.  Other requests were quick to follow:   "corn pie"?  Green beans?  Sweet Potato Casserole?

As much as I love cooking, I love eating.  I love being with my family and cherishing the special times we have together.  We will not be heading to the malls or the outlets.  We will not support the commercialization of our American history.  I am afraid that we, as Americans, are about to loose Thanksgiving to greedy retailers out to make quick profits.

How much are "we" willing to sacrifice for the proverbial dollar?  When did it become OK to go out at 8AM on Thanksgiving to go buy underwear?  It wasn't that long ago when I ran out of mustard and I could not find an open grocery store.  Faith and family has lost its position in American society.  If we are not carful we will soon loose sight of the basic principles this country was founded upon.

So, You Don't Work?

It's finally Friday and I am exhausted.  I feel as if I got nothing accomplished this week, even though I know it is not true.  As I look back at the life I used to lead, I don't know how I ever kept up with the pace.  I must have been crazy.  I realize now that working full time and having a family is not having it all.  It's having little pieces of everything and missing bits and pieces in between.

To make an already busy day more hectic, I had a doctor's appointment today.  As I filled out a new patient questionnaire, I came across a question that often irritates me.  The question itself may seem harmless, however it's the follow up by the office staff that is often annoying.  So what’s the the big, bad, question?  EMPLOYED__________Y______________N?  

My standard answer to the employment question is:  Stay at home, homeschooling mother.  Depending on the type of person who reviews the form I usually get one of two responses.  "So you don't work" or "Wow you must be busy!".  If I happen to get the response, "So you don't work", I will politely explain that I do work, I am a mom, wife, and a teacher.

In my late twenties and early thirties I believed that I could have a career, a family, and a home.  At one point, in that time, I was also working on my masters degree in Public Health.  I felt very strongly that I could do "it" all.  I vividly remember having a conversation with my boss, I said that “I would not waste my education staying home taking care of a family”.  My career was a driving force in my life.  Little did I know then that my career would soon mean nothing.

I was blessed to have a life altering event in 2006.  If it weren’t for a very serious horse back riding accident I would still be working today. The career that meant so much to me did not stand by me in my recovery.   My accident forced me to stop and examine my life.  I realized, with much regret,  that I had missed out on so much of my daughter's young life.  The only things that truly had value in my life were my family, my faith, and my friends.

Once the pace of my life slowed down I came to another realization.  There are only so many hours in the week for me to accomplish the things I need to do.  Being a mom, a wife, and a homemaker,  take up  most of my time.  To do it really well, and not spread myself incredibly thin, I can't imagine ever going back to my former life.  No title, prestige, or salary can make up for the moments lost with my family.

I want it ALL.  I want to give my family my all.   The only way I know how to do that now is as a stay at home mom and wife.  I no longer care about title or prestige.  No other career could be more satisfying, enjoyable, difficult, and exhausting.  I love my life.  I give thanks to God, everyday, for the blessings He has given me.

Open Windows

How many times have you heard the expression: "When God closes a door, He opens a window." ?  Have you every put any thought into that statement?  For those of us who are Christ followers that statement may come to fruition more often than not.  For some, who live a charmed life, "you" may have  been lucky enough to have not had to think too much about closing doors or open windows.

In the past 5 years, God has opened many windows in my life.  Sometimes I have looked upon these events affectionally, and  even joked that God has a great sense of humor.  Other times, circumstances have been less obvious.  Closing doors, and change were difficult and I did not immediately see the lesson God had laid out before me.

As I sat having lunch today, I thought about the many changes I have been through in the past several year.  The biggest life lesson I can think of was when my husband and I decided that we were going to try and adopt special needs, teen girl.  We had always wanted a second child, and felt strongly this you girl was meant to be part of our family.  Well, God had other plans, instead if adopting a special needs,14 year old, we were blessed with a 14 month old, baby girl.  We would later find out she also has special needs.

The next big change in life was our move to NC.  For most of my adult life, I had longed to find members of my biological family.  Finally at the age of 41, I was blessed to find, my brother, grandfather, aunt, uncles, and cousins.  After learning that my brother lived in NC my family decided that we would visit and have our families meet.  Our first meeting went well, my dreams had truly come true.  For the next year, I communicated with my brother and his family by phone and computer and all went well.

It had been my dream to move to NC so I could be near the brother that I did not grow up with.  As an only child, I had always longed for the closeness of a sibling.  Dreams do come true and we moved to NC, 5 miles from my brother’s home.  At that time I did not think that life could get much better.  As with many things in life, good things do not last.  Much like fall fading into winter, my relationship with my brother became less warm and more distant.  Today we have a cordial relationship, but it is nothing like what I had hoped for all those years ago.

I did not realize what a difficult transition life in NC would be.  Having my dream of family rejected, and struggling to make friends instead of acquaintances, I felt lost.  If it weren't for my faith and my family, things would have been miserable.  Thankfully, God stepped in and opened another window.  As time passed our faith grew stronger because of our new church and wonderful Pastor.    

Today, was a really good day.  God was all over the place! I had lunch with the angel God placed in my life, 2 short weeks ago. He knew that connecting with other women, and developing strong friendships had been something that I have struggled with since moving to NC.  

There have been times when I thought I had made a good friend and I was wrong. I had begun to feel that I was looking for something that was unrealistic or didn't exist and then it happened!  My phone rang and on the line was some different.  I would learn that my friend is caring, lovely, compassionate, kind, and would do anything for anyone, no questions asked.  She is a breath of fresh air.

Seasons Change

For the first time, after a long hot summer, I woke up to a chill in the air.  I am a former northerner, living in the south, the start of fall is up for debate.  October is nearly over and I have rarely put on a jacket or even worn long sleeves.  The leaves seemed to have changed color over night.  They have gone from a vibrant green to sort of a dried up brownish, orange.

Needless to say when I awoke to a thermometer that read somewhere in the low 50's I was thrilled.  Then, I immediately said to my husband:  "I'm freezing, turn the heat on!"  Something tells me that my northern roots are becoming shorter and shorter as the years pass.  After I adjusted to initial chill, a familiar fall feeling came over me.  It could only mean one thing…..it's time to start baking.

My girls and I had a great school day.  I wish that we had taken advantage of the beautiful afternoon.  Fall also means holiday crafts but that's another blog for another day.  As the school day ended my husband asked what I had planned for dinner.  "Hmmm" was really all I could say.  To be honest I had not though about dinner, only baking.

So as walked the path from our little "homeschool/office" back to our house I decided what I would bake….muffins!  I had been craving pumpkin muffins all day.  It was settled, out came the muffin pans, flour, and spices.  In no time at all I had made a mess of my kitchen.  And then a voice from across the kitchen called out:  "Momma, can you make double chocolate chip muffins?"  "Why not", I thought to myself , the kitchen is already a mess.

So as I sit here and write the house smells wonderful.  The kitchen is cleaned and the muffins are calling out to me to be eaten.  If the the local weather man is correct we will have another cold morning tomorrow.  Anticipating the chill in the air, I have a batch of pumpkin spice, overnight, crock pot oatmeal cooking for the morning.  It's going to be good, I can't wait.

Nothing inspires me more to bake and cook than the chilly temperatures of the fall and winter.  There is something comforting about warm houses and chilly temperatures, as we prepare for the coming Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.  I enjoy having the opportunity to show my love for friends and family through hospitality.   At different points in Jesus' life, he encountered the kindness of strangers.  I hope that my passion for hospitality comes through in my baking and cooking.  My door is always open, I am always ready to set another plate at the table. 

How Far Wrong Can "We" Go?

As I watched the national news tonight I realized that each story was worse than the next.  Our government is failing us, its citizens, on multiple fronts.  There are children murdering children and teachers in the one place they should be safe, school.   Lastly, our highest level government officials have been busy alienating other political allies by playing “we spy”.

When the news ended I realized that I was happy that my girls were not there to see what I had just watched.  What examples could they glean from watching any of the stories I mentioned above.  Hmmm, let's see what I could say about the current presidential administration.  For one, is it OK to do a poor job?  Is it OK to take on a major task and fail on a grand scale. Is it OK to deceive trusted friends and hope it goes unnoticed?

I had to ask myself: “When did our children become so violent?”  As a homeschooling mother I can safely say, no pun intended, that I will never place my children in public school.  How have we failed our children, collectively, to a degree that they feel homicidal violence is the only answer?  On this point I feel I have some insight.  "We" as a people have lost our moral compass and compassion.  The words, Christ and Christian, are like nails on a chalk board, no one wants to hear them.  The world does not need religion, it needs faith.  We need to return the basic values set forth by Jesus Christ.

At what point in time do “we” say enough is enough?  When will the people of this country be shocked into change.  The farther we move away from the teachings of Christ the more we have to loose.  I remember a time when children went to school and did not worry about coming home.  I remember a time when politicians actually got things accomplished.  I remember a time when Christ was not being pushed out of our society.

For now I will let my girls watch the news.  My husband and I will do our best to explain why the government can make major mistakes and keep their jobs.  We will try to explain why children are killing other children or their teachers.  I am praying for the day that change will take hold.  Will you pray for that day too?

What Did You Just Say??!!

We live in a age where the internet and social media have given users a false sense superiority.  We now have access to a world of unfiltered and often unverified information, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Social media has allowed users to take on new personas.  With each new persona users feel entitled to speak freely about any topic, often with out regard for others feelings.

I have found this issue to happen consistently when the topic of ADHD comes up.  My youngest daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD, among other serious diagnoses.  ADHD is a very real disorder.  There are those people, who do not have children with the condition, who feel compelled to speak about the topic.  I happen to encounter a gentleman who felt the need expound upon the disorder, today while reading an online article.

This particular gentleman and I had read the same article on ADHD, which had been posted on a social media site.  "Mr. Doe" feels that ADHD is a bunk condition that does not exist,.....ADHD in fact must be a product of the pharmaceutical industry.  I live with a child who who has struggled with the disorder everyday for the past 4 years. I felt qualified to comment on his thoughts.  I pointed out that ADHD is a very real condition, some children have no option but treatment with medication.

I am a Christian.  One of the tenants of the Christian faith is, “Judge not lest ye be judged.”  Since our daughter came into our lives I have spent a great deal of time defending the choices we have made in raising our daughter.  Many people do not understand that ADHD is not a result of bad parenting.  In my daughter's case, it was a result of severe abuse and neglect during infancy.  The trauma and abuse she suffered before she was placed in our home, changed her life forever.  Mr. Doe's suggestion of treatment by martial arts will not change her behaviors, I truly wish it would.

There was one last thing Mr. Doe suggested, that even as a Christian, I still disagree with.  Mr. Doe suggested that my daughter was possessed by evil.  He suggested that I read a particular book and all would be ok.  I can say with certainty that my daughter is not possessed by evil.  Evil does make her the child that she is.  My little girl is one of God's children.  1 John 4:4: Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.

The evil that exists in this world does not come from or through my daughter.  Evil was thrust upon my daughter by the people who brought her into this world, and did not protect her.  Evil was the abuse that was allowed to go on for the first 14 months of her life.  I have seen the faces of evil and it is not in my sweet, little girls eyes.  When I look at my little girl I see a blessing from God.

So, what lesson have I learned from today.  I have to stop listening to the so called "experts" on the web.  As much as I would like to “right” the wrong when I see inaccuracies on the web,  it isn't worth engaging people who just don't know what they are talking about.  Lastly, no matter how reasonable I am there are some people who can not be reasoned with.   I can deal with my family, I will let God deal with everyone else.  

Counting My Blessings

The past month and half have been challenging for myself and my family.  I have been quite sick, and I have required hospitalization.  A week prior to my hospitalization I contracted food poisoning, and a week prior to that I had another unexpected over-night stay in the hospital.  Needless to say, September was a stressful month.

As you might expect my my recuperation carried over into October.  Much of my household duties fell unto my husband’s shoulders.  I am the luckiest wife in the world.  My husband, Claus, took charge of the house, dinners, kids, pets and everything ran smoothly.  Without the strength and love of my husband things would have been quite different.

Over the past two weeks I have thought a lot about what seemed missing from our lives.  I was focused on the what and the who I thought we needed in our lives to be happy here in our adopted home.  What I failed to realize is that my focus was in the wrong place.  I had taken my focus off of God and placed on the shoulders of "man".  With the exception of my husband and my girls, God is the Only one who can change our circumstance.

Once I placed my focus back on God things started to change, and I mean FAST.  The issues that I had been struggling with seemed to vanish over-night.  Prayer is a powerful tool, most people do not realize how powerful prayer is and how powerful God is.  Not only did God answer my prayers, He touched the hearts of other women who reached out to me.  The women who reached out to me had no way of knowing what I was longing for, or what I needed on that day in my life.  Only God can move the hearts of man.

My wish is that everyone could know God's mercy and love the way I do.  So many people look at Christians as wacky bible thumpers.  That stereo type could not be farther from the truth.  I serve a merciful God, who loves all people.  God only desires our love and obedience.  When we serve Him, He will reward us.  My life is living proof of God's mercy and grace.  Who else is capable of changing one's life, literally, over night?

So, if you are looking for a change in your life why not try God?  You have nothing to loose and everything to gain.

You've Got A Friend??? Maybe??

I have not been to church for several weeks because of a recent serious illness, which required hospitalization.  Our faith is an essential part of our lives so not going to church eventually takes its toll on my spiritual health.  God is good and His timing is impeccable!  Today, our pastor gave a sermon on loneliness, an emotion I have been dealing with since being hospitalized.

Getting sick, and being hospitalized was an eye opening experience.  I could no longer take care of myself or my household.  ALL of my responsibilities fell unto my husband's already busy shoulder's.  We were fortunate that I did not become ill on a week he was traveling.  Without  having family, in the state where we live,  is extremely difficult.  It is a parent’s worst nightmare.  Only the LORD knows how we would have managed logistically.

Being as sick as I was, was awful.  Long days, and longer nights gave me hours to think and pray.  It was in those days that I realized that we had not yet put down roots in the community in which we live.  There is almost no one here to pick up the phone and say:  "I really need you", "Can you come down?".  I had managed to make it on to the prayer list for our church so I did receive a visit from our Pastor, and a married couple from the ministry team.  I am extremely grateful for their prayers.

Once I realized that there was no one else to visit or to check in I wondered what is wrong with me?  What have I done or not done that I have not formed bonds in this community?  There are more questions than I have answers.  The only thing I know how to do in this situation is pray.  And that is exactly what I began to do, pray.

Today is Sunday and I was well enough to get up and go to church with the family.  As I looked over the sermon note sheet I saw that our Pastor was going to be preaching on loneliness.  I was grateful that God was opening a door.  I knew that I could take Preacher's words and express my feelings in our Sunday school class.  

As I expressed in my opening, "God Is God!"  Only God would know that I would share my feelings on loneliness in a class with other women who were feeling the same emotions.  God was instrumental in bringing together people who needed to meet one another.

It is often very easy to be dismayed by the actions or non-actions of other people.  I, we, may feel alone in our adopted home but God may have grander things in store for us.  The one thing I often forget is that I am NEVER alone.  God is always with me.  I have never been alone, I will never be alone.  He is  always with us, no matter what!

What's Wrong With Higher Expectations?

As a homeschooling mom I do not understand all of the fuss over Common Core?  One of the major factors in deciding to homeschool my daughters was the "No Child Left Behind" initiative.  A standard, intended to level the educational playing field, failed miserably on a national scale.  The basic principles of education have been replaced by standardized testing and political correctness.  Educational standards have been dumbed down to a  degree that parents should be legitimately concerned for their children's academic future.

I am shocked at the negative reaction of both school systems and parents regarding the implementation of Common Core standards.  Lately, I have seen an increase in TV commercials promoting the positive aspects of Common Core. On the other hand however, I have seen more negative press, bashing every aspect of Common Core.  My question is: "Why"!  What is wrong with implementing higher standards for our schools and our children?  

When my oldest daughter was in public school she had gym class twice as much as she had computer science. Children were reading biographies about New York Yankee players or Hollywood actors and calling is language arts.  In the state that I now live there is debate on wether or not "times tables" should be part of a child's basic education.  How far have we fallen in a generation of educational expectations?  When did we decide that “fair” is good enough for our children?  I know that “fair” was not good enough for my children.  No Child Left Behind is I why homeschool.

I am not so naive to assume that everyone can homeschool.  Some women absolutely can not homeschool, some families do not want to educate their children at home.  US families now have a chance to give their children a better education.  Common Core may not be perfect but it is a step up from the system that is now in place.  Expecting more out of our children is not a punishment, it is a duty as parents.  

As parents, we have an obligation to improve our children's future.  Challenge and hard work instills values and a sense of self-worth.  Both are qualities missing from today's Generation Y.  If we want to better the future of this country, the lives of our children and grandchildren, parents need not be afraid of the extra effort needed to make positive change in our children's lives. 

Keeping Score

For those of you who don’t know me, I am a Christian.  I am passionate about my faith because Christ has changed my life in so many wonderful ways.  When I look back at my life I see my self as two people.  The first Lisa, is the Lisa before I had a relationship with Christ.  The way I see my self today is as a Christ follower.  I have a faith, not a religion.  Faith means so much more than religion.

One of the principle tenants of the Christian faith is forgiveness.  Christ died so that we could all be forgiven for our sins.  Now for the big revelation, no pun intended; I am a sinner!  I have done so many things wrong, in my life, that I have lost count.  I have made mistakes that I hope my children will not repeat.  Here's the “but”.....nothing I have done or will ever do is too big for Christ to forgive.  HE, Christ, does not keep score.  I am not on a heavenly black list because I committed multiple sins.

The old me lived a life of un-forgiveness, I was a score-keeper.  I kept mental tallies, in my head, until my anger consumed me.  My anger and resentment made me a different person.  It is very hard to live, day to day, trying to keep up with everyone who ever committed a grievance against me.  I forgot that we are all sinners.  My ego allowed me to look past my own issues and right into someone else's sin.

Most would think that my transition to Christianity would be seamless.  It has taken me almost 7 years to get to the place I am now.  I went from a not-so-nice person to being a joy filled woman. Unfortunately, becoming a Christian is harder than one would think.  I have lost friends and others close to me.  Those, who do not understand my life, judge me rather than support me.  The most hurtful days are when I am presented with "tally lists" of my former life.  Recounting every mistake and misstep I have made, since I was 18 is unesscessary.   I have not forgotten the past, reminding me does not make me more of a sinner. 

I have spent years agonizing over my past mistakes.   I have asked my Savior for forgiveness and I have been forgiven.  My tally list has been cleared without judgement or scorn.  My heavenly Father loves me as I am.  Scarred, broken, and bruised, there is nothing I can do to separate myself from Him.

 

“I Am, I Can, I Ought, I Will”

“I Am, I Can, I Ought, I Will”.  Simple words penned by an amazing woman.  Where has Charlotte Mason been our entire homeschooling life?  Eight simple words I have come to cherish, for myself and my family.  For those of you who may not know Miss Mason, she was the woman credited with founding the homeschool movement, in England, at the turn of the 20 century.
This summer made the decision to return to the basics of home education because of the many difficulties my youngest daughter faces.  Paige, who is adopted, has had severe challenges since birth.  She is extremely smart, but plagued by ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder, OCD, Anxiety, and now potentially a mood disorder.  CM seemed to be the obvious selection for both of my girls.
As the girls have gotten deeper into the CM routine,  they are learning that CM is more than a curriculum.  CM is a way of life.  Miss Mason’s principle’s are grounded in faith, family, and a responsibility to self.  CM instills in children a work ethic that is missing in today’s society.  Children are taught values and respect, qualities that are rarely seen in so many young people.
I feel that I am learning as much as my girls.  When I  see Miss Mason’s words:  ”I Am, I Can, I Ought, I Will”, I think about the things God has intended for me.  God does not give us challenges that we can not handle.  Lately, there have been days where there have been more tears and tantrums than laughter.  Days when we don’t know what the doctor will say about our youngest daughter.  Weeks when I don’t know if I am on the right path.
When those days rear their ugly head I think, ”I Am, I Can, I Ought, I Will”.  If Miss Mason felt strongly enough to give these words of encouragement, to children, I certainly can follow them as a 21st century mom.  Thank you Miss Mason for opening our eyes to a whole new world.

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Greener Grass

I have spent a good deal of my life wishing for something that I did not have.  As a culture we always seem to want bigger, better, faster, prettier.  As a Mom I have longed for what the "Jones'" had.   My children, though young, did the same with clothes and toys. We always seem to want what we don't have.

A number of events in the past week have caused me to think to myself, "are we ever satisfied"?  I was disheartened to hear a friend complain that her child was not acting the way she thought she should behave.  Life with children rarely falls into place, exactly as one hopes.  Most of us are lucky if we make it through the day having cleaned the house, showered, and cooked a meal.  For those of us fortunate enough to stay home with our children, we should cherish every moment with them, even the terrible moments.  Time with our children should not be looked back upon in regret.

North Carolina is a beautiful state.  I love the diversity of the landscape and the friendliness of the people.   We have truly enjoyed living life, in our small southern town.  This week, my dearest friend came for a visit.  Her visit made me realize that I was very quick to pick up and move to perceived greener pastures.  Unfortunately, I did not check out the landscape.  While I live in a lovely place, it does not always have the warm feeling of home.  My friend's visit made me realize just how much I miss the important people I left behind.

Many years ago, I belonged to a club called "Bloom Where You Are Planted".  Even though the patch of earth that I landed on in NC, isn't quite as green as I hoped, I still intend to flourish.  God has many good things in store for myself and my family.  My dreams of being united with a brother I never knew are gone, but I have found loving friends.  We may not have family here in NC,  but we have a supportive church family.   Lastly, but most importantly,  God has shown me that I do not need to continue seeking greener pastures.  In His loving care, He will provide all the we need.  He is our Strength and our Provider.

"As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes."

Psalms 103:15