Bleak Friday

I hope that each and every one of you, reading this blog, had a  Happy Thanksgiving.  We had a wonderful day of relaxing, eating, more relaxing, and crafting.  Unlike thousands, maybe millions of other Americans, I did not set foot in one of the many chain stores, open on Thanksgiving.  I could not  imagine leaving my family to save a few dollars.

I must admit that I am extremely disappointed with number of stores, electing to open their doors on Thanksgiving day.  In 15 short years, we have gone from MOST stores being closed on American holidays, to MOST stores being open on almost ALL holidays.  Call me old fashioned but I think it wrong that corporate greed is destroying American tradition.  How long will it be before other employers follow suit?  When will greed forever change the landscape of American tradition?

Our country is undergoing serious change.  This change is effecting the principles our founding father's once fought for.  We, as Americans once lived in a country that celebrated religious freedom.  Christians, crossed the Atlantic to pursue the dream of religious freedom.  Now, modern day Christians,  are marginalized in our own country, for as little as saying "Merry Christmas".  Christ has become the new taboo, we dare not whisper His name for fear of being labeled a right winged…………, you can fill in the blank.

Cities and towns across the US have removed nativity scenes from public areas.  I am not sure what a statue of the baby Jesus or the Virgin Mary may insight but I don't think it would be negative.  For those people who are not Christian, they do not have to look at the display.  My rights as a Christian are being infringed upon when Christ is removed from the Christmas holiday.  

In one small city in Connecticut, a school system went as far as to ban secular images associated with Christmas.  Frosty the Snowman and Santa are too controversial for children,  who knows, they might be a stepping stone to Christ.  When and where did "we" as a nation get so far off course?  I am 44, political correctness is offensive to me.  Is it generation X that is driving these crazy notions?

Today, I did a lot of reflecting on past and present Thanksgivings.  I remembered, fondly, the good old days of family, big meals, and absolute boredom because there was nothing to do on Thanksgiving day.  Yesterday, our family choose to have a “retro” Thanksgiving of family, fun, and food, nothing else.  I am already getting myself ready for Christmas.  I am armed with my "Jesus Is The Reason For The Season" car magnet and my "It's OK to Wish Me Merry Christmas" pin.  

I mentioned earlier that I am old fashioned, I am also willing to stand up for what I believe in.  Where do you stand on the things I've had to say.  Are you willing to say "Merry Christmas" and mutter a meek "happy holidays".  As Christians we must be willing to proclaim the birth of Christ as readily as Christ was to die for our sins.  Jesus is the reason for this season, MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Living Simply or Simply Living

For the first time, in what seems like months, I feel relaxed, truly relaxed.  The past 3 months have been busy with homeschooling, dance, co-ops, "mothers" meetings, and a bout with a serious illness.  Throw in the day to day responsibilities of maintaining a large house, laundry, cooking, doctors appointments, 3 spoiled dogs, and being a referee for 2 beautiful girls, life is crazy.

Like millions of other families, living the American dream, we have more than our fair share of blessings.  We have a large, beautiful home, with an even larger yard.  Our cars shine brightly, including my husband’s green and yellow lawn tractor. We see that our children want for nothing.  Even our dogs are spoiled, each with a comfy bed and sweater to wear in the cold weather. 

As much as I hate to admit it, sometimes I feel overwhelmed.  My dream house is sometimes too big.  There are not enough hours in the day to keep 3 bathrooms clean.  How many times in one day can I pick up the endless trail of toys from my youngest daughter’s bedroom to the downstairs family room floor.  I won’t even get started on the laundry because I am the person who does the clothes shopping.

So with all of this stress talk how can I possibly feel relaxed?  Earlier this year my husband and I bought an unassuming, retirement home. Despite have 2 growing girls and 3 spoiled dogs we bought a SMALL 2 bedroom, 1 bath cottage.  Quaint and cozy describes our new piece of paradise.  This house could not be more different than our oversized, “everyday” home.  I could not be more happy.

The minute I walk through our little cottage’s front door I feel different.  In this small space my cares are few and my time is devoted to my family.  We have a fraction of the “stuff” which we have in our “everyday” life.  Less house equals, less stuff, equals, less stress, equals more happy equals JOY!  We get by with the basics.  

While we are “living” in our cottage I often wonder why we need the things and the space we use 300 days of the year.  I have a sense of contentment.  Could we live like this all the time?  God has truly blessed our family.  We have are happy, healthy, and have more than we could ever want or need.  When life gets crazy I tend to forget the simple things in life, I need to stop and count my blessings. 

Traditions

For the first time in my adult life I am not going to be cooking Thanksgiving dinner.  I haven't quite figured how I feel about not cooking.  Cooking holiday meals has always been my "thing".  I love to cook, but I am also a control freak.  I want things done my way!

This year, we have decided to vacation for the Thanksgiving holiday. My husband thought it would be a nice idea to have Thanksgiving dinner catered.  My husband ROCKS!  As a stay at home wife, and homeschooling mom, cooking for 3 days is really not a vacation.  I broke 20 years of tradition and placed my dinner order today.

Not long after I placed our catering order my eldest daughter came into my bedroom.  As is the case with most kids, she is nosey and asked:  "Who were you talking to?"  I cheerily told her that we trying something new for Thanksgiving, I was not going to be cooking.  For a minute there was silence and then with a slightly shrill voice she said:  "You're not making cheesy potatoes?!!"

So it looks like I am going to be doing some cooking after all.  Apparently my children have started to appreciate my holiday side dishes.  My cheesey potatoes should really be called Made of Gold Potatoes because they are made with 4 kinds of imported cheese.  A  medium size serving dish normally costs about $16.00.  Other requests were quick to follow:   "corn pie"?  Green beans?  Sweet Potato Casserole?

As much as I love cooking, I love eating.  I love being with my family and cherishing the special times we have together.  We will not be heading to the malls or the outlets.  We will not support the commercialization of our American history.  I am afraid that we, as Americans, are about to loose Thanksgiving to greedy retailers out to make quick profits.

How much are "we" willing to sacrifice for the proverbial dollar?  When did it become OK to go out at 8AM on Thanksgiving to go buy underwear?  It wasn't that long ago when I ran out of mustard and I could not find an open grocery store.  Faith and family has lost its position in American society.  If we are not carful we will soon loose sight of the basic principles this country was founded upon.

So, You Don't Work?

It's finally Friday and I am exhausted.  I feel as if I got nothing accomplished this week, even though I know it is not true.  As I look back at the life I used to lead, I don't know how I ever kept up with the pace.  I must have been crazy.  I realize now that working full time and having a family is not having it all.  It's having little pieces of everything and missing bits and pieces in between.

To make an already busy day more hectic, I had a doctor's appointment today.  As I filled out a new patient questionnaire, I came across a question that often irritates me.  The question itself may seem harmless, however it's the follow up by the office staff that is often annoying.  So what’s the the big, bad, question?  EMPLOYED__________Y______________N?  

My standard answer to the employment question is:  Stay at home, homeschooling mother.  Depending on the type of person who reviews the form I usually get one of two responses.  "So you don't work" or "Wow you must be busy!".  If I happen to get the response, "So you don't work", I will politely explain that I do work, I am a mom, wife, and a teacher.

In my late twenties and early thirties I believed that I could have a career, a family, and a home.  At one point, in that time, I was also working on my masters degree in Public Health.  I felt very strongly that I could do "it" all.  I vividly remember having a conversation with my boss, I said that “I would not waste my education staying home taking care of a family”.  My career was a driving force in my life.  Little did I know then that my career would soon mean nothing.

I was blessed to have a life altering event in 2006.  If it weren’t for a very serious horse back riding accident I would still be working today. The career that meant so much to me did not stand by me in my recovery.   My accident forced me to stop and examine my life.  I realized, with much regret,  that I had missed out on so much of my daughter's young life.  The only things that truly had value in my life were my family, my faith, and my friends.

Once the pace of my life slowed down I came to another realization.  There are only so many hours in the week for me to accomplish the things I need to do.  Being a mom, a wife, and a homemaker,  take up  most of my time.  To do it really well, and not spread myself incredibly thin, I can't imagine ever going back to my former life.  No title, prestige, or salary can make up for the moments lost with my family.

I want it ALL.  I want to give my family my all.   The only way I know how to do that now is as a stay at home mom and wife.  I no longer care about title or prestige.  No other career could be more satisfying, enjoyable, difficult, and exhausting.  I love my life.  I give thanks to God, everyday, for the blessings He has given me.

Open Windows

How many times have you heard the expression: "When God closes a door, He opens a window." ?  Have you every put any thought into that statement?  For those of us who are Christ followers that statement may come to fruition more often than not.  For some, who live a charmed life, "you" may have  been lucky enough to have not had to think too much about closing doors or open windows.

In the past 5 years, God has opened many windows in my life.  Sometimes I have looked upon these events affectionally, and  even joked that God has a great sense of humor.  Other times, circumstances have been less obvious.  Closing doors, and change were difficult and I did not immediately see the lesson God had laid out before me.

As I sat having lunch today, I thought about the many changes I have been through in the past several year.  The biggest life lesson I can think of was when my husband and I decided that we were going to try and adopt special needs, teen girl.  We had always wanted a second child, and felt strongly this you girl was meant to be part of our family.  Well, God had other plans, instead if adopting a special needs,14 year old, we were blessed with a 14 month old, baby girl.  We would later find out she also has special needs.

The next big change in life was our move to NC.  For most of my adult life, I had longed to find members of my biological family.  Finally at the age of 41, I was blessed to find, my brother, grandfather, aunt, uncles, and cousins.  After learning that my brother lived in NC my family decided that we would visit and have our families meet.  Our first meeting went well, my dreams had truly come true.  For the next year, I communicated with my brother and his family by phone and computer and all went well.

It had been my dream to move to NC so I could be near the brother that I did not grow up with.  As an only child, I had always longed for the closeness of a sibling.  Dreams do come true and we moved to NC, 5 miles from my brother’s home.  At that time I did not think that life could get much better.  As with many things in life, good things do not last.  Much like fall fading into winter, my relationship with my brother became less warm and more distant.  Today we have a cordial relationship, but it is nothing like what I had hoped for all those years ago.

I did not realize what a difficult transition life in NC would be.  Having my dream of family rejected, and struggling to make friends instead of acquaintances, I felt lost.  If it weren't for my faith and my family, things would have been miserable.  Thankfully, God stepped in and opened another window.  As time passed our faith grew stronger because of our new church and wonderful Pastor.    

Today, was a really good day.  God was all over the place! I had lunch with the angel God placed in my life, 2 short weeks ago. He knew that connecting with other women, and developing strong friendships had been something that I have struggled with since moving to NC.  

There have been times when I thought I had made a good friend and I was wrong. I had begun to feel that I was looking for something that was unrealistic or didn't exist and then it happened!  My phone rang and on the line was some different.  I would learn that my friend is caring, lovely, compassionate, kind, and would do anything for anyone, no questions asked.  She is a breath of fresh air.