Just Say No…..To Everything

One of the things that my husband and I have always enjoyed doing is having a good meal.  When we lived in Connecticut, and our children were younger we had the opportunity to dine out most weekends.  We loved having the opportunity to go to local restaurants or into New York City for the innumerable selection of restaurants.  I miss the diversity of foods that we had in CT.  Food in small town NC just isn't the same.

Claus and I no longer have the same opportunities to go out and have culturally diverse food in the small town we live in.  Unfortunately, our youngest daughter makes dining out in a "nice" restaurants very difficult.  If we wanted to have something other than Mexican or Italian we would have to drive 35 minutes to an hour to find what her are looking for…..a nice grown up restaurant.  We have been left with few options.

Despite complaints from my children, I am a good cook.  I love to experiment with new dishes and ingredients. If we can't get out, I will create the food at home.  I also have a passion for baked goods.  There is nothing better than fresh baked cookies, cake or pie.  My oldest daughter went so far as to say: "Why can't you be a normal mom?  Normal mom's don't bake cookies on Monday!"  I don't really know what that means but I guess that I am abnormal.

So why am I going on about food?  Well, food has become too big a part of my life.  Food has become my comfort when I am stressed, a tool for celebration, a break from boredom, and a friend when I have felt alone.  I love the wrong kinds of food and they are making me sick.  I have an educational background in nutrition and I select the wrong foods to fill my body.  Eight years ago I weighed 122lbs.  Today, I would not tell you what I weigh because I am embarrassed.

Last week I had an upper endoscopy.  Despite my hopes the test did not come back normal.  My poor eating habits, and lack of management of a condition called GERD has caused some concerning changes to tissue in my esophagus.  I am lucky that this was caught early.  The tissue, though suggestive of a pre-cancerous condition, is not that severe YET.  My doctor has recommend change, drastic change in my diet to reverse the damage to the effected tissue.

Starting Monday my diet will look nothing like the things I am used to eating.  Most of what I like to eat will be banned from my new diet plan.  I will no longer be able to eat:   full fat dairy products (yogurts, cheeses, ice cream), CHOCOLATE, fatty meats & cold cuts, spicy foods, citrus fruits, tomatoes, any acidic fruits and vegetables.  Basically, I am allowed to eat high fiber fruit and vegetables and low fat proteins, no snacking between meals, and no eating 3 hours.

My diet is not entirely responsible for my health issues.  Genetics has played some role, my biological father died of esophageal cancer in his early sixties.  With God's mercy and grace I will not follow in my father's genetic footsteps.  I know that this not going to be easy for me .  Change never is easy, especially when  iti is radical.  I hope that if anyone is facing the same sort of issue, please contact me through the blog.  We all need support at one point in our live.  Take care and God Bless, have a great weekend.

Lisa

Two Loaves Of Bread

I heard the door of our antique bread box door slam against the kitchen counter.  Before I could get to Paige she was trying to beat the "you know what" out of 2 loaves of bread.  I was too late to save the bread but I was able to save the a glass of water.  This is what out life has become, moving from one outburst to the next.  We see less and less of our "Little Cupcake".  Hopefully soon, things will change.

If you look at Paige she is a seemingly normal 5 year old.  That is our blessing; it is also a draw back.  Paige may be 5 years old chronologically but she has the mentality of a much younger child.  Unfortunately, Paige's issues are not a question of immaturity.  If it only we that easy. 

Paige's brain does not have the ability to process many things:  abstract thought and concepts, she can not "read" people's body language or process sarcasm.  Much to my surprise, Paige has a learn disability.  More surprising, Paige may never be able to live independently later in life.  That is just the beginning of what Paige is facing.

Paige's fate was predetermined by the irresponsible and reckless behavior of her biological parents.  Their selfish want for alcohol, drugs, and their own person history with mental illness has effected the life of a little girl in ways they will never know.  We were robbed of knowing what could have been a happy and healthy child.

When we welcomed Paige into our home at 14 months we knew that she was special, that her needs were significant.  I never imagined that one day we would be in the position that we are now.  I did not imagine that we would have to seek specialized psychiatric treatment for a 5 year old.  I could not bear to think that the dreams for my little girl would not come true.  I did not think that everyday tasks like going to the grocery store would be so difficult.  We now have to rethink our dreams for Paige.

Despite the challenges that we are faced with everyday, I know that God has placed Paige with our family for a reason.  Paige has been a blessing to us since the day she came into our home.  With the resources that we now have through UNC, and the specialized services we will begin to utilize over the next several months I know things will get better.  There is nothing to big for God, His love and mercy are our constant source of strength. 

How Many Villages Does It Take?

I will preface my blog by stating that I am a conservative, Christian, whose political views swing to the right.  With that said, on some levels I believe in Hillary Clinton's philosophy that it takes a village to  raise a child.  Here’s where my beliefs and Mrs. Clinton's differ; I believe that a community, such as a church community is essential to the life of a family.

Today, my girls and I attended our first service, at what I hope will be our new home church.  For the first time in several months I feel settled, as if I have walked into a familiar place.  Prior to attending our first service, we had the opportunity to meet with the youth pastor.  He, like myself and family, is a transplant to NC.  In fact, the pastor mentioned that because we are in Raleigh many of the church families are transplants.

Living in NC the past 2 1/2 years has not been easy.  As much as we love the family life we have established here, and in SC, things haven’t always been easy.  I fell in love with the stereotype of what life in the south could be like.  I thought because I had crossed the imaginary north/south line that life would be different.  I thought that life would automatically be slower, kinder,  more gentle, and easier.  How wrong I was.

Today, was a day of positive change.  It’s the first day of our new life in the south.  It is unfortunate that my husband had to cross that imaginary line and drive up north, back to CT.   Our new church feels like the church we left behind in CT.  We were met with warm welcoming faces from time of arrival in the parking lot until we left "kids church".

I feel confident saying that our new church is a wonderful place.  It will be the place that my youngest daughter will grow through the help of the special needs ministry.  We will all have the benefit of meeting and connecting with other families through small groups, in members homes.  God's timing was perfect, words that I needed to hear were spoken in my Sunday school class.  Lastly, my teenage daughter even left the church with a smile!

Living away 12 hours away from family is not always easy.  Having a caring community of friends is a treasure that is not easily found.  I am an idealist and a Christian, I have been told for far to long that my ideals are too lofty.  There are Christians who are willing to be part of an extended family, willing to lend an ear or a hand, willing to clean a toilet,  as my wonderful friend Mari once did.  We need to open ourselves up and start building villages