Tuesday, March 5, 2013

The Love Of Family

For as long as I can remember I have had dreams of happy family reunions.  Not the sort of family reunions you see at summer get togethers where children, aunts, and uncles, moms and dads, all wear tee shirts that say something like:  "The Smiths - 2013.  In my dreams, I always wanted to find the family members I did not know while I was growing up.  Dreams of meeting my paternal grandparents, a brother, my bio-dad, aunts, uncles and cousins consumed my adult life.  Sometimes dreams do come true.  Sometimes you get what you wish for, sometimes you don't, sometimes God steps in and changes your life.

I have been blessed, my dreams came true.  After many years of searching I found many of my long lost family members.  Unfortunately, not all dreams are have happy endings; some of my family members had died before I was able to locate them.  For me though, I had peace of mind knowing that I finally knew where I would one day find my deceased family members.  The reunion with most of the remaining family members was as good as I hoped, sweet, loving, and accepting.  I was welcomed with open arms and open hearts.  My years of searching were worth the wait and stress, I was loved for who I was, a niece, a granddaughter, a cousin, a friend.

My reunion was not a success with everyone in my newly found family.  A relationship that seemingly got off to good start fizzled within months.  This was the relationship that I had put all of my "emotional eggs" into a giant basket called North Carolina.  Blinded by the "high" of a dream come true, I focused on catching up on 41 missing years of a relationship.   Little did I realized that this would be a lop sided relationship.   I would not get the love and friendship I so desperately wanted, at least not from the family member in question.  

What I failed to realize at the time was that I did not need to go to such extremes to find love and acceptance.  God loves me more than any dream I chase.  All the years of doubt and longing could have been avoided if I had only known the love of Christ.  Christ can open our hearts and heal any wound.  The love of Christ can heal the wounds of lost love, abandonment, and rejection.  One need not suffer loneliness because we are never truly alone.  We all carry Christ in our hearts if we only CHOOSE to open them.  My move to NC and my fizzled relationship has taught me so much about love and family, more than I ever thought I could learn.  My heart has been opened and it is healed not because of an earthly man, but through the love of our Savior Jesus Christ.