It is hard for me to conceive that Christmas has come and gone. The 2011 Christmas season started the day after Thanksgiving for our family. Our house was filled with family and friends; I knew that a season of joy lay ahead. Little did I know that I would be tested along the way; someone or something wanted to steal my joy.

Christmas is about more than just presents and decorations for our family. The birth of Christ is the true meaning for the season. Often we, as adults, get caught up in the stresses and drama of everyday life. We forget about what we should be teaching our children. Unfortunately, our children our drawn into the mass marketing schemes of cleverly placed ads during each and every children’s TV show. Toys become the focus of every child’s dreams. Soon Jesus ends up being just a figure in our Nativity sets.

This year I was prepared. I began each day with scripture readings to go along with our Advent calendars. We decorated our “school house” to commemorate Christmas; we honestly tried to keep the reason for the season. So you must be thinking: “What’s wrong with you?” I have a very simple answer: me!

I became the problem. I let events that were beyond my control, control my feelings and reactions during the last 2 weeks leading up to Christmas. As a Christian I tend to hold myself to a higher standard of behavior in certain situations. As Christmas drew closer I knew I would be faced with a potentially difficult situation. I prepared myself with daily prayer and I felt comforted as my personal D-day drew near. With God on my side I was going to withstand anything!

I considered myself a fortress, able to withstand any unkindness, criticism, or harsh words unleashed my way. Guess what?? I was wrong. I crumbled like a tower built on sand. I let myself be hurt by others words. My strength escaped me. I knew that God had NOT failed me, only that I was failing myself. For days I continued to be battered. Then one very late night I realized it was not about me, it was never about me. The person who has been hurting me does not have the benefit of a relationship with Christ. If she or he did I would not be writing this blog. There is a certain joy in one’s life that only comes from knowing Jesus; that joy eases the sorrow and pain that otherwise makes our day to day life unhappy.

There were other, minor, distractions during Christmas week. Last minute changes to plans and not getting everything accomplished that I wanted to get done. In the overall picture however these annoyances did nothing to actually change Christmas, only my perception of how it should be. I let my frustration with people and events alter my mood and my mind.

Finally on Christmas Eve I was able to get back the Christmas spirit I had been searching for. My girls and I took our golf cart and decided to deliver Christmas cookies to our neighbors. We had a great time! We had not yet had the opportunity to meet one of our neighbors. Mrs. M. is a lovely lady and ended up stuffing my pockets full of candy for the girls despite my protests. Our other friends were grateful for my cookies and the thought behind making them. I was happy to be able to give them out.

I am sorry now that I wasted so much energy on negative emotion. Next year if I find myself in a similar circumstance I know to just remove myself from the situation. Isn’t Christmas after all about giving? God gave his only Son to the world so that we might live. If I am able to give 11 dozen Christmas cookies out to raise my spirits it is certainly a small price to pay for a Merry Christmas.