One Last Try

Several months ago I wrote about the end of a friendship. I realized that after 15 years one of my friendship’s had come to an abrupt end. Since I did not have the opportunity to express my regrets face-to-face I tried texts and e-mails. My husband Claus tried to intervene on my behalf, but he too was unsuccessful.

So last March I wrote a farewell blog; I thought this blog would some how settle my conscience. Six months later I still find myself unsettled, unable to forget the friend I had for so long. Despite the fact I said I would not make any more attempts at contact, I sent Theresa one last e-mail.

As a Christian I know that I must offer an apology when I am at fault and forgive when I need to forgive. In this situation I have done both, over and over again. What have I gotten in return? Silence. The 15 years we shared as friends amounted to a cold silence. I thought I deserved better.

As I think back over this situation I now feel sorry for my former friend. One of the qualities most important to Jesus, other Christians, and happy people in general, is love and forgiveness. How much should one person have to grovel before another to be forgiven? Does it make you a better person to hold on to bitterness and anger.

If there is one thing I have learned since I have become a Christian is the joy and freedom of forgiveness. Holding onto anger and resentment only burdens one's heart and sickens one's soul. Forgiveness does not always mean forgetting but it allows one to let go and move on in life. I know now that it's my time to move on; there is nothing I can do, nothing more I can say.

This is a December update. I thought that I had said my good-byes but I was wrong. I gave it one last try from Christmas. I once again said my "I'm sorries and let's be friends". I got NO response. I guess something are meant to die. Our friendship was one of them. So goodbye Theresa, it was great knowing you.