Apples and Oranges

Last year, in a heated conversation, a misguided individual told me that she knew "exactly what I was going through" with my children and family life.  As I think back over that conversation I wish that individual could spend a day in my home.  As a matter of fact I think it would be beneficially for many people I have been acquainted with to spend a day in my home. Oh, if wishes could come true!

My husband and I love both of our children dearly.  Our youngest daughter Paige, who is adopted, has been a challenge since the day we welcomed her into our home.  As adoptive, foster parents we knew the child we would likely adopt would face many trials.  Our daughter's bio-parents have histories of drug and alcohol abuse, mental health diagnoses, and criminal behaviors resulting in incarceration.  Not much else could go wrong.

Paige's DNA was the perfect storm of bad genes.  Unfortunately, bad genes were not the only card this child was dealt.  Abuse and neglect further shaped the child she is today.  In the almost 4 years she has been in our home, we have waited for "her next year to get better".  As we approach her 6th birthday we are facing more problems than ever.

Since her second birthday we have traded developmental problems for serious behavioral, intellectual, and psychological  problems.  We have traded a single pediatrician and neurologist in for a developmental pediatrician, a "regular" pediatrician" and a team of psychiatric professionals.  We are a family on high alert, always vigilant so Paige does not get into something, steal something, inadvertently harm herself,  her sister or our dogs.  We can never completely relax nor take time away unless my parents drive down from CT 12 hours away.

Now, as for those people who thought they understood our lives, "y'all" got it wrong.  A child, with ADHD, born into a loving home can not be compared to my child.   My family life can not compare to anyone else I know because you do not have a child like our Paige.   I can not be the person  most people expect me to be because I have nothing left to give.  My life is devoted to raising 2 so called normal children.  One child who was fortunate enough to be born into a loving family and one child we are striving to give a normal life.

If I had my wish I would love to have my detractors spend a day in my life.  Christ has given us the strength to fight this battle for Paige.  Although we are often tired, sometimes frustrated, and more busy than I like to be, we have a good life.  It would be nice to have more understanding friends to support us on our journey, but that is not God's plan.  At the end of our life we will look back on these days with love and fondness, forgetting the stress and trials.  Until that time we will pray for peace and patience, and maybe even some understanding.