Some Days

As moms we all have "some days".  Some days with our children are good, some are great, some just stink.  In general, I believe that most most families have more good days than bad.  Our home is different, we go through phases. Like the moon our 5 year old daughter's moods wax and wane from week to week.  I pray for consistency and hope for peace.

Being a 5 year old is tough stuff.  You are not quite old enough to do the things your older sibling(s) can do.  You watch and wait for your chance to sneak a snack, the TV remote, the book  left open on the kitchen table, or the full glass of tea set out on the counter.  Things however, usually end badly.  Most often in tears.  For Paige, tears do not come because she is caught red-handed, they come from a sense of frustration, anger, or complete loss of patience.  This is no ordinary day, she is no ordinary 5 year old.

I don't think that we have had many so called normal days in a very long time.  Our days are dictated by whatever impulses are firing in Paige's brain, on any given day.  Like letters in the alphabet our lives have defined by ADHD, SPD, OCD, ANXIETY, STATIC ENCEPHALOPATHY, and some we don't have names for yet. " Our days" turn into a weeks, waiting for a peace with our little spit fire Paige.

  The words that I say on Monday: “no”, “stop”, “please don't”, etc. were said over and over again, more times than I could ever count.  I never realized that one child could be so incredibly smart and yet struggle so much. Following simple rules and simple requests is a monumental task.  I wish that Paige's biological parent's could comprehend how their actions have so negatively impacted a young child's life.

So much is often misunderstood with children like Paige.  When we go out  Paige is often looked upon as an unruly child.  I have been looked upon as a mother who can not control her child.  Knowing who and when to ask for help with Paige has also been difficult.  While most friends and family have been understanding some have not.  As with anything in family life, we turn first to God and everything else will work out.

My hope is that one day we will have more consistently good days than crazy ones.  As Paige grows and matures I pray that she is able to better deal with challenges she currently faces.  In time, I know that she will be able to get dressed without crying, go to the bathroom without an audience, and I will stop saying “no” 1,000 times a day.  Until then my faith and my Heavenly Father will see me through everyday.